Lost
by BE-A-TLE
Summary: Continuation of Don't Give Up


Disclaimer- *Groans* Okay, raise your hand if you think I own these people. *Shakes head* put your hand down kid, that's right, I still don't own em! The Song Lost is by Sarah McLauchlan  
  
Author Notes- Picks up after Don't Give Up  
  
Lost  
  
By the shadows of the night I go   
I move away from the crowded room   
that sea of shallow faces   
masked in warm regret   
they don't know how to feel   
they don't know what is lost   
  
****************************************************  
  
The days were coming in blurs now, Jamie never really could separate one day from the next. He was only going through the motions now. At school is was the same day by day, people greeting him in the hallways, asking if there was anything they could do. People who had never given him the time of day before, suddenly worried that he might break. They had no idea. None of them did. He couldn't expect them too either. He admitted he was tired of the forced faces of pity and regret, and that what he really wanted was to be left alone. After he thought of ending everything, he doubted he deserved to get that wish though. He had seriously scared his brother. Alex, had made a habit of coming by once a week to check up on him. It made sense, both were worried he might try something stupid again. He'd promised Peter that he wouldn't, but he couldn't really blame Peter for not believing him. He and the super squad spoke briefly from time to time, but he could tell they were getting annoyed he wasn't speaking openly with them. What did they expect, after they ignored him for so long, did they really think he'd just welcome them with open arms?  
  
"Jamie?" A voice suddenly broke into his mental monologue. He blinked and his eyes focused on Vice Principal Carlson. He never called him Jamie he thought vaguely. Carlson was watching him in concern.   
  
"Yes?" He responded on instinct.  
  
"Are you all right?" Jamie forced a smile onto his face.  
  
"Yes, sorry, I was just thinking. I should go or I'll be late." Jamie hurried off towards the big double doors. It wasn't wasted on the older man the smile never reached the student's eyes. It never even seemed to be there on his mouth, a forced stretch that he managed to obtain until he fled. Carlson sighed, the boy was in need of help, and so far, no one could help him. He wouldn't get the help he desperately needed unless he got it for himself it seemed. Carlson watched with a frown as Jamie fled the building, picking up speed as he went.  
  
****************************************************  
  
lost in the darkness of a land   
where all the hope that's offered is   
memories of being taken by the hand   
and we are led into the sun   
but I don't have a hold on what is real   
though we can only try   
what is there to give or to believe   
  
***************************************************  
  
Jamie sat Indian style on the ground A river in front of him, trees behind, it was the perfect place for a picnic. He remembered well before his mom got sick, she use to bring them out for picnics here. He and Peter use to play in the river and his mom would always make the same thing. It was always fried chicken, with her homemade potato salad, cokes, and cherry pie. The thought brought a slight smile to his face. That seemed like such a long time ago. When their dad was gone, it was always his mom who tried so hard to pull double duty. She was always at the little league games, and she was always at the school functions. When Peter left for school, his mom slowed down a little, but she was still always there for whatever Jamie was doing. When she got sick, it was like the invincible force in his life had suddenly cracked. The pleasant imagine of what his mother use to be, suddenly changed to flashes of what his mother had gone through as she became sicker and sicker. He closed his eyes, trying to force the images into the back of his mind. He heard a soft thud and his eyelids snapped open. Shifting his weight slightly he turned and saw Tyler sitting beside him.  
  
"Its nice here." Tyler said after a few moments.  
  
"It is." Jamie agreed.  
  
"I saw you sitting out here alone, and thought I could provide some company." Jamie nodded slightly a far away look in his eyes. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, fine." Tyler cringed slightly.  
  
"Jamie, you haven't been fine since your mom passed." Jamie's eyes suddenly had some spark in them.  
  
"Thanks for that news flash."  
  
"Jamie..."  
  
"Tyler, if you don't mind, I'd really rather be alone." Jamie cut in, fixing Tyler with a dull, glazed look, the spark that had been there vanished as quickly as it had come.  
  
"I'm sure you would." Tyler replied. "But, its not going to happen." Jamie glared at him for a moment.  
"I suppose telling you I'd really rather not talk to you isn't going to do much either."  
  
"No. You don't have to talk to me, but I'm going to sit right here next to you, so if you want to talk to me, you can."  
  
"I don't." Jamie replied, fixing his gaze on the river. Jamie knew all to well, Tyler was just trying to help. However, for some reason, at this point, Jamie could view no one as help. The only person who could trust it seemed was Peter. Even Caitie couldn't provide what Peter could. Peter was his life line. If anything should happen between the two, who knows what would happen. Tyler didn't fail to notice that the entire time they sat, Jamie never moved his gaze, and only moved to wipe a stray tear that would occasionally work its way down his face.  
  
***************************************************  
  
I want it all to go away   
I want to be alone   
sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell  
I feel there's nothing left to fight for  
no reason for a cause  
and I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near   
  
****************************************************  
  
Jamie curled up in bed, hoping to be able to sleep for a while. Closing his eyes tightly, he tried to ignore the conversation Peter was having. Though Peter tried hard to muffled the conversation he was having, the house was silent enough that Jamie got the gist of the conversation.  
  
"No, he isn't getting any better." There was a long pause and Jamie desperately tried to block out the conversation. "I know what I'm going to do if he doesn't." Jamie began humming to himself, which effectively blocked out the direct words, now Jamie heard the tones and that was better. When he didn't hear the tones anymore, Jamie assuming Peter had hung up. Jamie stopped humming and curled up a little tighter. Things were quiet for a few moments before he heard Peter's voice loud and clear one last time before the dull thud of a phone being dropped. "Well, I can't seem to make him see any different, and he thought about suicide once, he could again. So unless he can come to terms with it himself, I'll have to make him go to Glory Institute for a little while." Jamie clenched his jaw and felt tears well up behind his eyes. He was right, Peter didn't believe him. Peter wanted to send him to the psychiatric clinic a few towns away. Jamie, feeling his life line suddenly cut, closed his eyes and began his mental comfort.   
  
****************************************************  
  
lost in the darkness of a land  
where all the hope that's offered is   
memories of being taken by the hand  
and we are led into the sun   
but I don't have a hold on what is real   
though we can only try   
what is there to give or to believe   
  
**************************************************  
  
Peter walked into Jamie's room, with Caitie in tow. "He might be as.." Peter trailed off suddenly.  
  
"Peter is something wrong?" Caitie peered around and saw Jamie sitting upright. "He's awake."   
  
"Look closer Caitie." Peter began grimly. Caitie shrugged and moved a little closer. "He's awake, but he's not there."  
  
"What?" Caitie was clearly horrified.  
  
"I-I don't know." Peter replied. "Best guess, it all got to be to much for him. He's just closed himself off."  
  
"How do we snap him out of it?" Peter swallowed hard the lump in his throat suddenly growing larger.  
  
"I don't know if we can at this point. Now, it might be all up to him." Caitie sat down on the bed beside Jamie and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.  
  
"Come on Jamie, please, come back." She didn't get an answer.  
  
"I'll call Alex and see what he suggests." Peter mumbled as he fled from Jamie's room. Caitie nodded helplessly, as she began to cry.  
  
**************************************************  
  
I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try   
I was looking for someone   
  
  
Boy, how was that? I didn't even see that coming, it just kinda happened. I hope its not to much. Well, I guess I'll find out if you review or not. 


End file.
